YOU ARE FROM BAYOMBONG IF… (1st of 2 Parts, By RAY M. PASTOR)
• You have climbed Bangan Hill at least 10 times in your lifetime. You are particularly excited at the yearly trek to the top every Good Friday, during the Holy Week.
• You swam in the Colocol every summer.
• You went to Capitol for a date on weekends, and you liked the boat rides. And you said “I love you” to your girlfriend on top of the tower. For more romantic moments, you went to the DIKE, didn’t you?
• You were often awakened by the early morning shouts of PANDESOOOOOOOT!!! (Yes, Honey, that’s pan de sal) from the boys of Manalo (Tasterite), European, and Cosmos Bakeries. You bought, not because you wanted pan de sal at that moment, but you wanted to get rid of the noise momentarily (The boys didn’t leave until you bought).
• If you went to NVGCHS, you definitely know who ‘Katulpik’ is.
• You were a regular customer at the ‘orchestra’ section of Roscon, Carina, and Center Theater. If it was payday, you were at the ‘balcony’ or ‘lodge’. You liked the Divina Valencia & Stella Suarez movies at the Center, didn’t you? And you howled, shouted and whistled at the slightest film interruption; 5 seconds of reel stoppage is unbearable. 10 seconds is unforgivable. Any film interruption longer than 1 minute and, the film projector operator would be in danger of being shredded to pieces.
• You went to Balgan’s, Gary’s, Gaspar’s or Yalung’s for your 16-inch bell bottom pants, doubleknits, sports shirt, or ‘batik’ polo with Elvis Presley collars, didn’t you?
• You know what the letters CLISOC in CLISOC Field stand for. (WEH! You DON’T know?) Just say ‘Granstan’ and we will understand each other.
• You were aware that the Labogs/Nons, Pascuas, and Molanos spoke English. And if you were not able to keep up with them – you avoided them. They spoke with a curious intonation, but it’s a style uniquely and distinctly their own.
• You definitely know Carlos Catanauan.
• You were a classmate or batch mate of one of the 10 Gutierrez children: Phillip, Lyndon, Patrice, Sandra, Alfred, George, Olga, Walter, Russel, Josephine.
• You were a classmate/batch mate of one of the 8 Lumicao children: Oscar, Nestor, Isabelo, Lorna, Solita, Amelita, Clarissa, Susan.
• You were a classmate/batch mate of one of the 7 Bulatao children: Glenn, Jocelyn, Ernesto Jr., Alain, Emmanuel, Adrian, Eugene.
• You were a classmate/batch mate of one of the 8 Torralba children: Ruby, Rudy Jr., Roberto, Susan, Liza, Mariafeliciasofiacherrypie
mendozatorralbasiazon (name is too short), our class Valedictorian. Carla, Carolina.
• You were a classmate/batch mate of one of the amazing Gauuan Valedictorians: Junifen, Framiliza, Lelina, Jolicia.
• You were a classmate/batch mate of one of the 9 Tankiamco children: Felix, Errol, Leo, Imelda, Xavier, Gemma, Alvin, Adelo, Lisa.
• You were a classmate/batch mate of one of the members of the Dulay clan: Ireneo Sr., Maxima, Vicenta, Veronica, Rosalina, Carlos, Orlando, Azucena, Samuel, Ireneo Jr.
• You were a classmate/batch mate of one of the 9 Zuraek children: Helen, Lorice, Joseph, Corina, Claudemere, Alfred, Homer, Robert, Marie.
• You definitely know Ninoy Lacuesta. Pianist, Yamaha organist, guitarist, Melody Choir & Male Choir Founder.
• You watched shows via the satellite relay station atop Bangan Hill. Without it you wouldn’t have watched shows on RPN 9 and GMA 7. Then you wouldn’t have seen the legs and wasp-waist figure of Wonder Woman, The hi-tech 6-Million-Dollar-Man, Eat Bulaga, Flordeluna, Annaliza, T.O.D.A.S., CoEd Blues, John en Marsha, Iskul-Bukol, Ang Bagong Kampeon, Land of Isis, Kaluskos-Musmos, Student Canteen, Joey & Son, Seeing Stars With JQ (“Okey ngarud!”), Apeng Daldal and Minyong in Cafeteria Aroma, Voltes V,, Nora Aunor Superstar, The Incredible Hulk, The Price is Right, Wok With Yan, RPN Newswatch with Harry Gasser and Pat Lazaro (Sponsored by Pocketbell, your home & office in your pocket), Eye to Eye with Ate Luds, Sunday Mass on TV, Spin-A-Win with Jeanne Young, The Bionic Man, Lenten Special with Fr. Archie Guiriba, Chicks-to-Chicks, Late-Night Movies, etc.
• You’re very familiar with names like: Genato, Tiam, Ambatali, Tugab, Cutaran, Melad, Cabauatan, Panganiban, Babaran, Liban, Guntalilib, Cachero, Lazam, Guzman, Molano, Lumicao, Ludan, Danguilan, Torralba, Abellera, Maddela, Naui, Tallungan, Calata, Parong, Gurat, Tumaliuan, Aparentado, Abriam, Estalilla, Cachero, Mamuric, Maribbay, Ammalingan, Lumidao, Mangaccat, Macababbad, Tambalque, Bunanig, Gumayagay, Umaguing, Danao, Bayatan, Labitoria, Degamo, Lantion, Baliton, Villadelgado, Galamay, Sepnio, Mania, Butac, Non, Abungan, Basat, Bunuan, Guiab, Logan, Garingan, Marinas, Madarang, Maludduy, Bayabos, Agbayani, Gonong, Europa, Lumanlan, Garlitos, Dadufalza, Baingan, Boy, Birco (To be continued)
• You feared going against any Gaddang because you observed that all Gaddangs are somewhat ‘related to each other’. Each may be a brother, sister, cousin, uncle, auntie, papa, mama, lolo, in-law, lola – or 10th degree relative of the other. Have a fight with one and in an instant you go against what looks like an angered beehive nesting on a church bell. And you know there is hell to pay when that bell was rung. I had many Gaddang best friends (But NO Gaddang enemies). Well, you can credit THAT to my - fear of bees.
• You know mestizos such as the Zuraeks, Gutierrezes, Calaveras, Dychitans, Bennetts (Of the Ms. Universe fame. Lalaine Bennett: the first Filipina to land in the top-five, Ms. Universe, 1963), Picarts, Quennerys, Malhabours, and Pastors (not included).
• You know the famous IKKO, or Francisco Panganiban, the most famous tenor Bayombong has ever produced. A mestizo, he’s one colorful personality that comes once in a thousand years. If you don’t know him, you must be deaf. His presence in church is assurance enough that no one slept during the mass. He was so good He can give Pavarotti a run for his - tonsils. He was my choir mate for several years and he can easily out-power a choir of 30 by several decibels. His incredible lung power seemed to extend to an intimidating personality. He was a loyal and a very good friend but was unforgiving to those who maligned him. He really knew his English grammar and, if you happened to be the object of his ire, he asks, ‘when is your birthday?’ (Completely ignorant of where he’ proceeding – you reveal your birthday to him) Whereupon, he gives you your zodiac sign, and a lecture that you miserably lack manners, and are thus, uncivilized. He then proceeds to give you a BOOK OF ETHICS. ( From here on, you realize he’s got a firm hold on your neck) He approaches you menacingly and his most famous line could throw you off: “Why are you laughing at me! Is my face square? Triangle – or rectangle?!!” And if that doesn’t deter you – this will: “May a THOUSAND FLEAS invade your ARMPITS!”
You are taken aback; your face turns tomato-red, and you are finally immobilized as though bitten by a king cobra. He can throw you a thunder just like the middle ages. At a social gathering several years ago, I saw a PC Provincial Commander turn pale after being upbraided for nearly 20 minutes, a recipient of IKKO’S withering reprimand. I was stupefied into seeing a veteran military man supposedly unafraid of bullets turn into a pulp in a matter of two hundred words, or less.
So, there. If you don’t know the great IKKO – I’m sorry but you’re not from Bayombong. You’re an alien. ‘Kasdiay dijay!’ (To be continued; Photo credit on this page: Ninoy Lacuesta)
